Have you ever wondered why you’re here? You’ve been placed on this tiny planet in the midst of this huge universe. In this world of ours where there is so much pain and suffering, and so much that stands between us and happiness it’s easy to feel helpless. And when you think about all the things that would surround you if you were lucky enough to reach destination “happiness” you’re left with a sense of uneasiness as well, because there are many people who are born with all those things and are still terribly unhappy. What’s the solution? What’s the best way to buffer yourself from all the negative things life throws at us? How can we dodge the discomfort, avoid the rejection, side step the pain, and eliminate the possibility of failure?
You could go through life and attempt to avoid all these things. You could hope that in the process the things you want in life will be dropped in your lap by the kindness of whatever is behind the scenes turning the gears of the universe. And who knows, the universe may even throw you a bone and you might find yourself content and comfortable with this type of existence. But is this state of aimless helplessness even really living? Not at all. It should be the definition of dying.
We aren’t meant to wake up everyday and go through life avoiding, dodging, and side stepping. We were given desires so that we could take meaningful steps in the direction of obtaining those desires. Avoiding all that’s negative in the world leaves “hope” as your only tool of receiving the things that bring happiness. Purposefully moving toward the negative allows you to be the one who determines whether you fulfill your desires. We have to learn to deal with the pain and discomfort, and risk the rejection and failure because happiness lies on the other side of those negative things.
You are here to shape your own reality, not to be the victim of it. Pain, discomfort, rejection, failure, stress, pressure, responsibility, and all the negative things you have a tendency to avoid are really the tools life gives you to mold your existence. Once you know what you want it’s up to you to take a meaningful step toward using the tools that will get you there.
When you think about it, life really isn’t about the why, it’s the how. Either start taking meaningful steps, or wait around hoping. The meaning of life? That’s simple...
Live life like you mean it.
June 15, 2011
April 24, 2011
The Likes of You
You should like yourself. Seems like it should be a given, right? Actually, it’s not. If you aren’t happy with most of the decisions you’ve made in life, you probably don’t think too highly of yourself. If you look out into the world and only see people with personality traits and talents you admire but don’t possess, you’re probably not too fond of yourself. If the thought of doing anything at all by yourself (going to a movie, going out to eat, going to the mall, etc.) makes you cringe, it’s a tell-tale sign that you are probably not even close to being your own best friend.
The truth is that if you don’t like yourself, the thought of being alone in this world is very scary.
To suppress this fear people will try to level the playing field with a statement like “We’re all created equal” or a question like “What makes that person any better than me?” These phrases are the band-aids they use to cover the gaping wound that is their deep-seated dislike for themselves. To really fix the problem they will struggle to find acceptance and validation outside of themselves by any means possible. They will pair up with any group of friends that will give them the time of day, or desperately search for a significant other to complete them. They will change themselves and their core values completely for the chance to be apart of something... anything.
This is your life. You need to be content on your own first and foremost. Being content isn’t as easy as just telling yourself “I’m a special and unique snowflake; there’s no one in this world quite like me, and that makes me great!” It makes you average, at best. Self confidence and esteem aren’t things you can go around claiming unwarranted. It’s a challenge, a responsibility, and for anyone setting any real standards for themselves, it’s hard fucking work. Every person who decides to think highly of themselves has a job to strengthen the things they like about themselves and do their best to get rid of the qualities they don’t.
The crazy part about all this is that once you start enjoying your own company others will want to be around you. Your interests and the things you are working to improve about yourself will draw you to people with similar aspirations. Your relationships will be built on commonalities, and not desperation for acceptance. At the very least you’ll be able to go to the damn mall by yourself!
There’s something very attractive about someone who is truly comfortable in their own skin. Do whatever it takes to be attracted to yourself and you’ll never have to fear being lonely again.
The truth is that if you don’t like yourself, the thought of being alone in this world is very scary.
To suppress this fear people will try to level the playing field with a statement like “We’re all created equal” or a question like “What makes that person any better than me?” These phrases are the band-aids they use to cover the gaping wound that is their deep-seated dislike for themselves. To really fix the problem they will struggle to find acceptance and validation outside of themselves by any means possible. They will pair up with any group of friends that will give them the time of day, or desperately search for a significant other to complete them. They will change themselves and their core values completely for the chance to be apart of something... anything.
This is your life. You need to be content on your own first and foremost. Being content isn’t as easy as just telling yourself “I’m a special and unique snowflake; there’s no one in this world quite like me, and that makes me great!” It makes you average, at best. Self confidence and esteem aren’t things you can go around claiming unwarranted. It’s a challenge, a responsibility, and for anyone setting any real standards for themselves, it’s hard fucking work. Every person who decides to think highly of themselves has a job to strengthen the things they like about themselves and do their best to get rid of the qualities they don’t.
The crazy part about all this is that once you start enjoying your own company others will want to be around you. Your interests and the things you are working to improve about yourself will draw you to people with similar aspirations. Your relationships will be built on commonalities, and not desperation for acceptance. At the very least you’ll be able to go to the damn mall by yourself!
There’s something very attractive about someone who is truly comfortable in their own skin. Do whatever it takes to be attracted to yourself and you’ll never have to fear being lonely again.
April 6, 2011
To Be Perfectly Modest
I had to start over. The whole “watch my journey in photography” thing just isn’t me. It’s really not my style at all. Showing all the hard work I put in to mastering something is like walking someone step by step through a magic trick. The end result isn’t nearly as impressive and anyone watching thinks to themselves “Well, if I did ALL THAT I’d be just as good.” If life were to be likened to a series of magic tricks then I’m aspiring to be a really swagged-out David Blaine.
I want my talents to seem to have powers over the perceptions of the people around me. So that in their minds these talents could only be God-given, or the result of something they weren’t afforded the luxury of having. Putting every increment of growth on display for the world to see puts you in a position in which you have to be modest. You’re forced to be grateful for every undeserved compliment given, and it really takes a toll on your overall confidence once you do gain some compliment-worthy skill.
Listening to your friends and family encourage you in your pre-magnificent stage is really just social masturbation. You hear people doing this all the time. Person A shows Person B something Person A has been working on. Person B gives praise while Person A bows modestly and shrugs off or denies Person B’s compliments. They do this for a while until they climax in satisfaction. Person A feels validated in his mediocre accomplishment, and Person B feels like she’s done her good deed for the day. Most members of society take pleasure in this act of boosting some one's confidence while that someone goes into modesty mode.
If you’re anything like me, you see the situation something like this...
“Oh! You’re getting so good!” (society grabs the lotion)
“No, no, no, I still need a lot of work.” (you try to stop society seeing it’s growing arousal)
“Honestly, some of your stuff is kinda impressive.” (society ups the volume on the porn and keeps stroking)
“Nah, I’m slowly getting better but…” (you attempt to step in front of the TV to block the action when…)
“Seriously man, you’ve really come along way. Sure you’re not as good as so and so, but he’s got blahblahblahblah.” (*jissplaatttttt*)
Yep, and your friend’s attempt to make excuses for your lack of mastery is the societal nut hitting your forehead. Although the metaphor may not match up completely, it perfectly parallels my level of disgust.
So you can probably see why I typically hide my struggle to become skillful in most areas of my life. Sometimes it is because I hate conversations rooted in modesty, but most often it is because that struggle is supposed to be something you own. You have to find fulfillment in each small victory in your walk from newbie to pro. You have to ignore the urge to comfort yourself with excuses. You have to build total confidence in your skills so that when it is finally time to put them on display the act appears effortless.
Once your talent reaches this level, modest formalities become a thing of the past. Rather, they will never have had existed because you managed to gain your skills minus all the societal perversion. Your confidence in your abilities will shine through, and the compliments received will be genuine. You should accept said compliments with the same confidence, but do so with caution.
Since you are most likely not the best to ever do it, society feels that there is always room for modesty and will still be expecting responses that will invite the typical circle jerk. Non-compliance can result in future compliments being replaced with comments attributing your talent to luck, or genetics, or [insert lame excuse here].
Personally, the feeling these comments give me is, ironically, kind of orgasmic. And every time I get that feeling I picture myself dodging a nut to the face and leaving society stuck in my place.
A magic trick that would make even David Blaine proud.
I want my talents to seem to have powers over the perceptions of the people around me. So that in their minds these talents could only be God-given, or the result of something they weren’t afforded the luxury of having. Putting every increment of growth on display for the world to see puts you in a position in which you have to be modest. You’re forced to be grateful for every undeserved compliment given, and it really takes a toll on your overall confidence once you do gain some compliment-worthy skill.
Listening to your friends and family encourage you in your pre-magnificent stage is really just social masturbation. You hear people doing this all the time. Person A shows Person B something Person A has been working on. Person B gives praise while Person A bows modestly and shrugs off or denies Person B’s compliments. They do this for a while until they climax in satisfaction. Person A feels validated in his mediocre accomplishment, and Person B feels like she’s done her good deed for the day. Most members of society take pleasure in this act of boosting some one's confidence while that someone goes into modesty mode.
If you’re anything like me, you see the situation something like this...
“Oh! You’re getting so good!” (society grabs the lotion)
“No, no, no, I still need a lot of work.” (you try to stop society seeing it’s growing arousal)
“Honestly, some of your stuff is kinda impressive.” (society ups the volume on the porn and keeps stroking)
“Nah, I’m slowly getting better but…” (you attempt to step in front of the TV to block the action when…)
“Seriously man, you’ve really come along way. Sure you’re not as good as so and so, but he’s got blahblahblahblah.” (*jissplaatttttt*)
Yep, and your friend’s attempt to make excuses for your lack of mastery is the societal nut hitting your forehead. Although the metaphor may not match up completely, it perfectly parallels my level of disgust.
So you can probably see why I typically hide my struggle to become skillful in most areas of my life. Sometimes it is because I hate conversations rooted in modesty, but most often it is because that struggle is supposed to be something you own. You have to find fulfillment in each small victory in your walk from newbie to pro. You have to ignore the urge to comfort yourself with excuses. You have to build total confidence in your skills so that when it is finally time to put them on display the act appears effortless.
Once your talent reaches this level, modest formalities become a thing of the past. Rather, they will never have had existed because you managed to gain your skills minus all the societal perversion. Your confidence in your abilities will shine through, and the compliments received will be genuine. You should accept said compliments with the same confidence, but do so with caution.
Since you are most likely not the best to ever do it, society feels that there is always room for modesty and will still be expecting responses that will invite the typical circle jerk. Non-compliance can result in future compliments being replaced with comments attributing your talent to luck, or genetics, or [insert lame excuse here].
Personally, the feeling these comments give me is, ironically, kind of orgasmic. And every time I get that feeling I picture myself dodging a nut to the face and leaving society stuck in my place.
A magic trick that would make even David Blaine proud.
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